The Beach | Toronto Family Photographer

It's been awhile since I've posted any shots of my own little world.

Last night, I dragged Kyle and Robin to the east end of the city so I could scout out some locations for a few upcoming photoshoots. In my head, this was going to be a "perfect" evening for us. We'd go for a walk along the sand, dip our feet in the water, relax and take photos of one another while Robin played. It would be killing a bird with two stones – scouting locations AND and an opportunity to take some family shots, something we don't do nearly often enough. Reality set in early on as we struggled to prepare and rush through dinner so we could get to the beach and back before sunset. We arrived to a jam-packed parking lot, and an even more jam-packed beach. There was even a party going on under a tent with loud rave music. We picked our way through the half-nude sunbathers, joggers, dogs, kids and towels, only to realize that the shoreline was quite rough and Kyle hadn't worn shoes that could go into the water. And he also somehow missed the "taking photos" part of my description of the evening, so he'd chosen to wear a man tank-top (is that what you call it?) and super-old, ripped shorts, so he was a bit unhappy to have his photo taken. I struggled to keep Robin (who seems to think that she's an Olympic swimmer) from falling into the water and eventually thrust the camera at Kyle. We lasted about 15 minutes and ended up taking half the beach back home on our legs and feet. It felt like a waste of time, but we joked in the car that at least it had given us something to do before Robin's bedtime.

So I guess it's obvious that I didn't expect to fall in love with these photos the way I have. This is my life right now. I have a husband who wears man tank-tops, a toddler who won't give the camera the time of day, and I'm in desperate need of a new hairstyle. They're not technically correct or perfect, but they're just what I needed.

Croatia | Toronto Family Photographer

After several requests (mainly from my mom and mom-in-law), here is a brief synopsis of our trip to Croatia at the beginning of the month. These photos are a pretty big mix, taken on my 5D, Rebel and point & shoot, so no judging! Robin spent a fun week with Grandma, Poppa, Clooney (the dog) and someone named Debbie. We're not sure who Debbie is, but Robin talks about her a lot! After a teary goodbye, we headed to Pearson airport for our redeye flight!

We're here! After a long journey, we arrived in Dubrovnik. We took a quick nap to readjust ourselves, enjoyed a "kick-off" dinner, and spent the entire next day exploring the old town.

In 40 years???? I hope so.After two nights in Dubrovnik, we took a long (and expensive) cab ride 3 hours up the coast to Split. From there, we took a catamaran to Hvar Island. Sorry ladies, he's taken.We hiked up to the Fortress for the amazing view of Hvar Town and the Adriatic Sea.After three nights in Hvar, we travelled by catamaran back to Split for our final three nights.Wine, live music and a medieval cathedral? Yes please.The view of the sea from our hotel, just outside of Split.We spent out second last day hiking through Plitvice National ParkOur last day. We enjoyed the water taxi's view, but travelling by car is much faster!We loved our time together in Croatia, but it was very nice to be home and reunited with Robin. And there you have it.

Happy long weekend everyone!

Macaroni + Watermelon | Toronto Family Photographer

As a mom, one of the things I feel most guilty about is not taking enough pictures of my child. (Side note: What's with the guilt that comes along with being a parent!?! – a whole other discussion for another day). "Whaaaat!?!?" you say to yourself. How can you be a photographer and not take enough photos of your own kid? Well, it's actually pretty easy to fall into a rut of not taking photos. The light is bad. We're too busy. My camera is too heavy. I'm tired.  The list goes on. So lately, I've taken a new approach to the photography of my own family. Quality, not quantity. When my friends ask for tips on taking better photos of their kids, this is something I always suggest. Rather than trying to pull your camera out for every occasion, set aside time once every few weeks and spend a couple of minutes capturing the moment. By "capturing the moment" I mean, choosing an activity or event, and taking the time to document all the details. I'm using Robin's lunch today as an example. She's 18 months (almost 19 months) and I've only taken photos of her a couple of times in the last few weeks. Every time I look at her, I feel a wave of emotion. Pride (she's growing so quickly and doing more and more each day), laughter (she looks a bit ridiculous right now with her chubby cheeks and bowl cut) and this achy feeling which I can't really describe in words (my baby is not really a baby anymore). I want to capture her, right now, so I can look back in weeks, months, and years, and feel the same way I do now. To most people, photos of a kid eating her macaroni and watermelon aren't that exciting or spectacular. But to me, it's a glimpse into my life. My real life. Right now.

So after all this rambling, here's my tip for moms (or dads!). Every once in a while, stop and spend a few minutes taking photos of an "everyday" activity or task. Take as many photos as you can in those minutes. Stand back and get as much of the room as you can. Get in as close as you can. Shoot from every different angle you can think of. One of my favourite things to do is to take a shot looking down through our chandelier in our kitchen. Be creative. Shoot the details. If you are inside, what's on the walls or the floor? If you are outside, what's around you? Trees, flowers, signs, cars. When it comes time to put together a photo book (which I recommend you do!), you will be able to create a beautiful spread using multiple photos, which together tell the story of that time, moment, or event.

Rise & Shine | Toronto Family Photographer

I've been practising with a new lens lately so Robin has of course been my muse! It's rare these days that I have to wake her up from a her nap at the end of the afternoon, but it's one of my favourite times we share together when I do. She is just like Kyle and I – she loves to sleep and does not like to be woken up by others. It always takes a bit of coaxing to get her to open her eyes – she sometimes rolls over and just ignores me. But after some gentle nudging I will get a few groggy yawns out of her, and usually she is quite happy to see me.

Outside, after dinner | Toronto Family Photographer

We've been so lucky to have such great weather the past few weeks so like most people, I've been taking advantage and enjoying as much time outdoors as I can with Robin. And I thought it was about time I posted some current photos of her. This was our first night playing outside after dinner a few weeks ago. You would think that it's late April or May, not March! Robin is more and more a little girl these days, and less and less a baby. It makes me swell with pride to watch her play and do more for herself; she is becoming so independent. But it also breaks my heart. I dragged  her out of her crib last night so I could hold her asleep in my arms for a few minutes. Luckily she was out cold and slept right through the transfer. She barely fits into my arms now. As I felt her chest rising up and down against mine and listened to her quiet, laboured breathing (she has a cold), I was acutely aware that this is a time that I will look back on with so much fondness, but also with regret. As much as I savour these moments, I know I will always feel like I should have done more. More cuddling, more kissing, more squeezing.

More being-in-the-moment-and-forgetting-everything-else.

I took Robin for a haircut a few days later. Yikes, she really had a Justin Bieber/mullet look going on!

A huge thank you!!

I can't believe it's 2012 already. This past year flew by in an absolute blur – settling in to our new home; taking care of Robin and watching her grow from a tiny, sleepy newborn to a rambunctious, busy toddler; and launching my photography business. My days were segmented between running after Robin and trying to keep our home in order, and then scrambling to get onto the computer as soon as she was down for a nap or had gone to bed for the night. Photo sessions were often scheduled for the weekend when Kyle was home or an occasional babysitter was used during the week. On the one hand it was great because it meant I was never bored or lonely. But on the other hand, I often felt like I was just struggling to keep my head above the water (I hate to use a cliche expression, but it really is the best way I can think of to describe it).  I was drowning, sitting at my desk with hours of editing in front of me, heaps of laundry waiting to be folded (for anyone who's been down to our basement this year, you know the large laundry mountains I'm talking about), and my own personal projects completely untouched (scrapbooking? photo books? – a distant memory). The constant guilt of not giving enough time to my daughter, the constant worry of whether my work is good enough. But then, I receive an email from a client telling me how happy they are, or a birth announcement arrives in the mail, or someone tells me that they are following my blog. And I realize that there are people out there who actually appreciate my work! Who actually want to hire me!

I look around our home where so many of my favourite photos of my own family are displayed and I feel so much nostalgia and joy. I love my photos and I cherish them more than any other possession. This is what inspires me, what keeps me going. I want to give other people the same feeling of joy and nostalgia when they look at their photos and think back to that time in their life. When you look at a photo, it's not only the good you remember, but the hard times too. We didn't realize it at the time, but those moments were shaping us, taking us to where we are today. That's what life is about.

So as 2012 kicks off, I'm feeling very grateful to those people who took a chance and hired a disheveled mom on maternity leave, struggling to launch a business. You invited me into your world – your homes, conversations, cuddles and hugs, so I could capture a few hours of your beautiful life for you, and I'm honoured.

And another note on the kickoff of 2012... January is "getting it done" month for me. Closets and drawers are being organized, and so are my business processes. Things are being streamlined! And by early Spring, Robin will be a in daycare a few days a week and I will be focused and ready for a great year. My head will not only be above the water – I'll be swimming :-) Happy New Year. xo

Robin's first year

On the eve of my daughter's first birthday I feel such a mix of emotion – I'm not going to lie, I've spent the better part of the day fighting back tears. And whenever I've had a spare minute or two, I've been scrambling to pull together some of my favourite photos from the past year. These made me cry, smile and laugh. I posted on Facebook earlier today that I'd be willing to go through childbirth again if it meant I could relive this past year. I'd do it in a heartbeat. To have my tiny newborn cozied into my arms again – nothing to do but breastfeed and watch 'How I Met Your Mother' re-runs. And then to watch her grow so quickly every day – making discoveries and learning new tricks. I can't believe how excited I was the first time she used her finger to poke at something. I'm pretty sure I called Kyle at work to tell him. And the past few weeks have definitely been the most exciting. Robin now stands and pushes her toys around. She's a pro at emptying the kitchen drawers, claps on demand, bounces to music, and can wave goodbye. She screams DaDa when she's happy, and moans MaMa when she's sad. And like typical new parents, Kyle and I think she's the best thing since sliced bread.

So here's a year-in-review of my little girl, Robin.

The photos above with the pink PJs were taken after she said "DaDa" two mornings in a row when Kyle went in her room to say hello. She's loves seeing him before work. And the last one is from our trip to the apple farm last weekend. I'll post a birthday photo tomorrow :-)

Peach Cobbler

It's been a very long time since I've posted anything non photo session related, which I suppose is good and bad. Good because that means I'm busy shooting for other people (Yay!) Bad because I feel like my own life is getting lost along the way (Boo). When things slow down this winter I plan to catch up, I have a list of about a zillion projects I want to get done. Everything from making macaroni and cheese, to finally finishing our wedding album. But in the mean time, I have decided that the least I can do is to start making more of an effort to document our everyday lives. "Our" being me, Kyle and Robin... and of course friends and family along the way. I've been in a bit of a rut lately – lots of shoots which makes me so happy, but at the same time something's been missing. I haven't been sleeping well and I just can't clear my head. It's been a CRAZY summer – with stuff much too personal to post on here, so there is lots to keep me thinking at night. And surrounding it all is this nagging feeling of panic. I'm panicking that things are moving too quickly. Life is moving too quickly.

I know that I like to be busy (okay, I thrive on busy-ness – it keeps things exciting). But I don't want that to be at the expense of not savouring all the little moments along the way, or documenting the big moments like most new moms do. So until I can start catching up on things like my own photo albums (a whole year's worth for Robin!!), I'm going to start taking more photos of her on regular-everyday-days. And not just that, I'm going to start taking photos of other things too.

Starting with peach cobbler. Which I made yesterday. While Kyle and Robin hung out.

It was delicious.

Finn's 1st Birthday

Happy Tuesday! Okay, so I'm late posting these. I have to admit, I haven't had the best process in place for editing and blogging. But I have been making changes to my workflow and things are definitely speeding up! Finn is my sister's baby... third baby to be exact! It's tough being the youngest with a very outgoing, inquisitive older sister and a very energetic, spirited older brother. But Finn takes it all in stride. Finn's siblings, Ivey and Hudson, were the inspiration for my first DSLR. My sister and I scrapbooked together (yep, I'm a huge scrapbooking fan and not afraid to admit it!) and I used to surprise her with books for the kids for Christmas (knowing she was super busy and didn't have time to complete all the projects she wanted to). Used to. Now that I have a baby of my own, the scrapbook supplies sit on the shelf untouched. I haven't had time to work on anything for Robin, let alone poor Finn. So feeling guilty that I haven't done any special projects for him, I really wanted to do a birthday photoshoot for just Finn. I can't believe a year has gone by already!

From Finn's newborn shoot, one year ago...

And as a tribute to my original inspiration, a few of Ivey and Hudson, who have grown up so much this past year...

My sister and I had an argument last night. For those who know us, you know how close we are. She's my very best friend so it kills me when there is tension between us.

Dana, I hope this cheers you up! I'm sorry. xx

Spring!?! Is that finally you?

It is such a relief to have the weather finally improving! So earlier this week I took Robin outside and for the first time we did a mini-photo session in the backyard! (Note, the backyard is a serious work-in-progress. While it looks pretty rough, this is actually a pretty big improvement from what it was before. Kyle is desperate to grow the grass from seed... we'll see what happens). We were only out for about 15 minutes because it is still pretty chilly but Robin seemed to enjoy it. She is sitting up now on her own which gives her a whole new perspective on the world.

And a few self-ies taken inside. CHEESY, but I don't care :-)

My favourite from the day...

Kyle doesn't get it because it's out of focus. But that's what I like about it.